Friday, November 4, 2016

Gila monsters abhor a vacuum

Robert, my telepathically connected gila monster friend out in Pearblossom, was scarce for a while after my return from San Diego, but this morning I saw him crawling towards my modest shack, a most unprecedented behavior.  He clearly had something on his mind.

 He halted about twenty feet away and transmitted these thoughts:  

Your species is going to hell in a handbasket, to use your expression.

Thanks for the reminder, I thought back, wary of Robert's conviction that gila's are the pinnacle of sentient life.

I'm talking about your presidential election tomorrow.  Your species are idiots.

I had had enough:  

Robert, as much as I've enjoyed our conversations, I'm getting tired of your holier-than-thou-species attitude.  If you've got something useful to relate, please do so now.

Sure, thought Robert, turning slowly around to trudge back towards his habitual rock, now thinking at me over his shoulder, You've got a dangerous vacuum developing. Gila's have learned to stay clear of vacuums.

What vacuum?

The vacuum of your government.  What you call 'the people,' meaning those of you who are subservient to the masters, look now at this thing your masters have created which they call your 'government,' and they see a vacuum.  There is nothing there.

There's plenty there.  Much is at stake in this election.  How would you know anything about human culture?

Robert's reaction was to stop, spit (gila's have toxic saliva, so the gesture was one of extreme disgust and hostility), turn his head slowly towards me, and think: 

Today, when the subservient humans look at their government, they see dysfunction and inaction, born of years of no one in government having anything to do but spend money and write reports.  When a crisis appears, whether it's the collapse of one of your political parties, or climate change, or humanity's fate after bioengineering and artificial intelligence, no one knows what to do, and even if they did know what to do no one has authority to do it.  You have a vacuum where a government should be.  Very dangerous!  Gila's are self-governing and don't have this sort of problem.

Well aren't gila's wonderful! 

Robert stared at me, immobile as a statue, and thought: 

I don't know why I try to teach you anything.  You're as dense as the rest of your species.

If you have in mind helping me or humanity at large, that's news to me.

Robert made me wait a beat for his response.  The day was getting hot.  Being cold blooded, Robert liked it.  He blinked once and thought: 

Your masters are highly uncomfortable now, scrutinized and exposed in this fashion by so many underlings.  They don't like what's happening.  Whoever wins on Tuesday, everyone will see that a piece of the government did not function, was not there...they will see a vacuum.

And you're saying that's dangerous?

Highly.  This is one of the most dangerous moments your kind has faced since we've been watching you.  Your masters will be so threatened by the revelation that there is no actual leadership that they will need to distract the underlings with something catastrophic, like a terrorist attack followed by war hysteria.  You are in grave danger.

So it's come to this: A gila monster warns a human that World War III will emerge from the vacuum where government should be.  You can't make this stuff up.

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