A spirit told me to take a previous post down, because it was unforgiving, hopeless, and used ugly words like "incorporate" and "regional." I think it was my mother's spirit whispering that the post disturbed her. Should I just come out and say: "I believe in spirits?" No, I don't believe in spirits, I just pretend to so that in a hidden chamber of my mind where believing in spirits is vital, I can believe that I believe I heard my mom's spirit, telling me the post was focussed on a blur that no one will understand because no one will want to understand, and I should try again because it will work out, it will become good, if not in this dimension than in another. She did tell me something like that, on the phone, two weeks before she died, and two weeks since I had last visited her, when she said, "It's ok when you die. It really is." She didn't tell me why it's ok, or how she knew. And I didn't ask. Why didn't I ask her those questions or a million others? But what else could she have meant than, "You have a spirit, and when you die (even if a nuclear bomb lands directly on your head and your atoms are spread so far and wide they don't know they're atoms) your spirit is released, intact, with a karma that determines its circumstances, paradisical or otherwise, and you will continue, and I will see you again." Is it possible to believe something without having any idea if it's true? Especially lately as humanity’s historic cycle from constructive peace to insane slaughter begins to enter an insane slaughter phase, it’s nice at times to believe something pleasant, whether or not it solves anything. My own concern about the post my mother didn't like was that it revealed that I had no idea what to do, no concrete bit of advice, like,"Think positive," or, "Breathe from the stomach," nothing, so should I stop writing essays that don't offer feasible solutions? Then what can I write? My mom says not to quote her now, to use my own words. Ok, I'll just briefly withdraw back to the "real world," where it's clear that some awful event is approaching that will, in its international awfulness, be the key to unlock the accumulated fury that our managers have been stockpiling for years, a key like the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand in 1914, or the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, constructed to detonate carefully calibrated explosions unleashing chain reactions of violence (sorry mom, I'm almost done) which, this time, will serve as smoke screens to hide the installation of new versions of the human race, versions to which not everyone will belong, and which everyone will definitely not own. But, although no one - not the most powerful shaman or wizard - can stop this sci-fi horror story from happening in our reality, there is, I choose to believe, a spirit world. What exactly am I trying to say...that we will be saved from the darkness by spirits, my mom's and other helpful ones? I wouldn't go that far...how about: We will be given hints, people will be connected, you will be plugged into a meditative world that is not at war with itself, and you will find solace.
Sunday, May 18, 2025
Spirits
A spirit told me to take a previous post down, because it was unforgiving, hopeless, and used ugly words like "incorporate" and "regional." I think it was my mother's spirit whispering that the post disturbed her. Should I just come out and say: "I believe in spirits?" No, I don't believe in spirits, I just pretend to so that in a hidden chamber of my mind where believing in spirits is vital, I can believe that I believe I heard my mom's spirit, telling me the post was focussed on a blur that no one will understand because no one will want to understand, and I should try again because it will work out, it will become good, if not in this dimension than in another. She did tell me something like that, on the phone, two weeks before she died, and two weeks since I had last visited her, when she said, "It's ok when you die. It really is." She didn't tell me why it's ok, or how she knew. And I didn't ask. Why didn't I ask her those questions or a million others? But what else could she have meant than, "You have a spirit, and when you die (even if a nuclear bomb lands directly on your head and your atoms are spread so far and wide they don't know they're atoms) your spirit is released, intact, with a karma that determines its circumstances, paradisical or otherwise, and you will continue, and I will see you again." Is it possible to believe something without having any idea if it's true? Especially lately as humanity’s historic cycle from constructive peace to insane slaughter begins to enter an insane slaughter phase, it’s nice at times to believe something pleasant, whether or not it solves anything. My own concern about the post my mother didn't like was that it revealed that I had no idea what to do, no concrete bit of advice, like,"Think positive," or, "Breathe from the stomach," nothing, so should I stop writing essays that don't offer feasible solutions? Then what can I write? My mom says not to quote her now, to use my own words. Ok, I'll just briefly withdraw back to the "real world," where it's clear that some awful event is approaching that will, in its international awfulness, be the key to unlock the accumulated fury that our managers have been stockpiling for years, a key like the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand in 1914, or the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, constructed to detonate carefully calibrated explosions unleashing chain reactions of violence (sorry mom, I'm almost done) which, this time, will serve as smoke screens to hide the installation of new versions of the human race, versions to which not everyone will belong, and which everyone will definitely not own. But, although no one - not the most powerful shaman or wizard - can stop this sci-fi horror story from happening in our reality, there is, I choose to believe, a spirit world. What exactly am I trying to say...that we will be saved from the darkness by spirits, my mom's and other helpful ones? I wouldn't go that far...how about: We will be given hints, people will be connected, you will be plugged into a meditative world that is not at war with itself, and you will find solace.
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