I recently called my buddy Doug (https://laskenlog.blogspot.com/), which surprised him because I don't have a phone. As Doug knows, this is because I'm a telepath, the real kind, retired from playing nightclubs and cruise ships, where I pretended to be fake. These days I inhabit a one room shack in the Mojave desert north of L.A., where I get my fill of human communication out of the air and have no need for additional verbiage via technology.
Nevertheless, I called Doug on a pay phone.
“Hey man, I need help processing some things,” I started with.
"Harry? Why aren't you telepathing me, if that's a verb?"
“I need you to help me think in human language. Normally, as you know, I find it an overly causal, rather pushy means of expression, but for once I want to control things.”
"This must be serious!"
"We're all in the same boat," I sighed, "...the same sinking boat."
I am pessimistic by self-definition, though I often strive to burnish an appearance of optimism with incomplete expressions like, "The glass is half full" (of shit).
I explained to Doug, for the umpteenth time, “I believe that human consciousness is a construct, one of whose purposes is to individualize us, so that we believe we are independent actors, ‘people,’ if you will. When I telepathically travel outside of human language, I see further possibilities. Once I experienced being a porpoise with half its brain asleep; another time I was Zephyr- the spirit of the West Wind."
"But lately," I continued (though I wasn't sure Doug was listening), "I've been alarmed by what I pick up from media and real time humans and animals who pass my way. Now I see 'us,' my term for atoms and molecules of all sorts, including our own, as increasingly unstable, fissionable material."
“In other words: Ka-Boom!” I spouted, in what I hoped was a decisive summing-up.
I told Doug that I want to function like the city of Los Angeles' phone app that alerts users to imminent earthquakes. But I want to alert people to mindquakes, which are at least as dangerous as the geologic kind. Once the distinctive shaking starts, it will gradually accelerate, either concluding in destruction, or slowing down, dissolving, and giving us another chance. We should have some say in this.
"The instability we face," I went on, "though it appears localized in time, emerged eons ago, after hundreds of millions of years of single-celled life grazing and meditating on the ocean floor. One day their unending joy offended God, who proclaimed, 'For their sins, let them eat each other.'"
When will the age of predation end? I asked Doug to contrast two hypothetical versions of this end, one, the popular concept of "The Big One," the other, that of Christian apocalyptic thinking as expressed in Revelation, the final book of the Bible.
The Big One is a modern concept of secular events, like atomic wars or massive earthquakes. The other, Revelation, is a mystic vision of a God-mediated termination of our world.
Though widely popular with early Christians, Revelation at first met resistance from Church authorities, who were perhaps wary of its explicit message. Revelation was rejected for inclusion in the canon by the Council of Laodicea in 363 AD. The Synod of Hippo, in 393 AD, was poised to reject it again but had second thoughts when it realized that Christians were going to read Revelation whether it was canonical or not. After all, it provided human life with a purpose: To die.
The Big One does not entail an afterlife, and Revelation is vague on evidence for one. As I argued to Doug, I think we’d be better off, instead of figuring out how to end it all, seeking decent ways to survive it.
Doug said he agrees about survival, but hopes it doesn’t entail too many Revealed Big Ones. We were in agreement on that.
The next post discusses the new money-maker, Duanju, the Chinese term for the micro-dramas they created that are sweeping cell phones and reaping big financial rewards, and I submitted two draft episodes. Now I read in the Los Angeles Times (4/31/26) that the vertical/micro/cell phone genre has arrived in the U.S. and is raking in big bucks on Tik/Tok and other sites. What am I waiting for? While China procrastinates, America, here I come!
Suggested first episodes for two US produced vertical dramas:
Trump the Great
Episode 1
Open in Oval Office. President leans back in his chair, smirking as he reads a newspaper. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth paces anxiously behind the president, trying to attract his attention.
Hegseth: Sir, your ratings are sinking to new lows, even beneath last week’s 38%! Don’t we need to do something?
President (continuing to smirk, still looking at his paper): Like what? Pete, you’re ruining my morning.
Hegseth: With all due respect sir, how long can a president go on like this, in terms of screwing our allies…in terms of screwing yours and… well, my future careers?
President: Pete, you worry wart! You know, don’t you, that catastrophic turmoil is about to engulf the US and most of the world?
Hegseth: Well, I….
President: Yeah Pete, you know. And don’t you realize that when people are rushing around trying to survive, they won’t have time to protest their president? They’ll be too busy looking for food, shelter and so on.
Hegseth (smiling broadly): Sir, once again you prove the greatness of your vision!
President (broadening his smile and leaning back more): Good boy, Pete!
Estimated time of episode: 5 minutes.
Ricky, Boy Wonder
Episode 1
Open on Ricky, a 15 year old prodigy, known by teachers and friends (but not by his mother, Doris) for uncanny powers of prophesy. Ricky is lying on the bed in his room, writing in his notebook, when his mother bursts in.
Doris (putting hands on hips): Ricky, at it again? I’ve been asking you for two days to rake the back yard leaves!
Ricky: Mom, I’ll do it, but I’m on to something really critical, about….
Doris: I’ll give you something critical, young man, if you don’t rake those leaves!
Ricky: Please mom, at least let me tell you what I’m working on, then I promise I’ll rake the leaves.
Doris: You’ll rake them right after you spout your latest?
Ricky: Yes mom, right after you listen to me.
Doris: All right, Mr. Know-it-all, let’s hear it.
Ricky: Ok mom, I’ve been considering how the internet and cell phones are making it less and less necessary for people to be in each other’s presence in order to have relations.
Doris: Hey, why didn’t I think of that? Are you done? The leaves, you promised, remember?
Ricky: No mom, I’m not done. Also consider how every time you write something on your laptop, a message comes up asking if you’d like to improve your writing by letting an AI do it.
Doris: Ok, I’ve considered it. The leaves are waiting, buster.
Ricky: Mom, don’t you see what this means? It’s not just human jobs that will be phased out- it’s humans!
Doris: Don’t get smart with me buster! Get off that bed and do what you promised!
Ricky: Mom, we are developing ourselves out of physical existence! Future humans won’t need proximity, all they’ll need is to be plugged into each other.
Doris: Your big words don’t work on me, smart ass! Get off that bed and rake the leaves!
Ricky: Aw, mom.
Estimated time of episode: 5 minutes.
For years I worked on a fictional series on this blog, Harry the Human, about two telepathic, alienated souls: Harry the Human and Robert the Telepathic Gila Monster. Sadly, the series did not generate the financial return I had sought in order to end my bondage to the Los Angeles Unified School District.
But there is hope! A new market for “mini-dramas,” or duanju as they are called by their Chinese creators, is making billions on soap opera- like episodes, only a few minutes in length, that combine themes of greed and eroticism. These mini-dramas appear on millions of cell phones every day.
Ka-ching!
Below, I hopefully submit to duanju producers two beginning episodes for a newly sculpted Harry and Robert. Thank you for your consideration!
Episode #1 of The Controlling Father
Harry the Human goes out into the desert once in a while, when the urge overcomes his distracted soul, to masturbate into the wind. On one occasion, Robert the Telepathic Gila Monster, from behind a rock, observes Harry in this shameful act and is consumed with grief at his friend’s desperation and depravity. That night, Harry receives a knock on his door, opens it and finds Robert carried in the arms of a beautiful woman named Trish, the daughter of a billionaire tech mogul. It turns out that Robert, combining his mystic background with esoteric traits found in gila monsters, is able to convince humans to try novel experiences, and he has used his abilities to induce Trish, who is intrigued by the idea of escaping her controlling father, to travel to Harry’s shack, where she finds Harry to be, indeed, a far cry from anyone’s controlling father. Harry is at first taken aback, but then succumbs to his not so cosmic cravings. You can guess the rest.
Estimated time of episode: Two minutes.
Episode #1 of Lizard Love
Robert the Telepathic Gila Monster travels to Bhutan where, atop a Himalayan peak near the famed Tiger’s Nest Monastery, he meets Sylvie, a hot tokay gecko (a distant relative of Robert's brand, the Mojave gila). A mutual attraction develops immediately, but differences between the two species present a problem. Sylvie explains that female tokays find a partner through a mating call, but, when she demonstrates the call, Robert develops an intense headache, and also finds that he is unable to reproduce the call (represented in English as Ke-ke-ack-a-grrrrp). Robert explains to Sylvie that the come-hither message of the Mojave gila is not conveyed by sound, but by a smell emanating from a naturally produced chemical called a pheromone. The scent stimulates a strong sexual response - at least in the right species. After Robert squirts a sample, Sylvie becomes nauseated and can barely keep from vomiting. The two reptiles experience a few moments of despair, but Robert suddenly receives a message from his cosmic birthplace and proclaims, “Sylvie, we don’t need these random accoutrements. Let’s just gaze into each other’s eyes and let nature take its course!” Sylvie sees the logic in Robert’s idea. The gazing begins and you can guess the rest.
Estimated time of episode: Two minutes.
Thank you for considering these proposed series for Harry the Human and Robert the Telepathic Gila Monster mini-dramas! I look forward to a profitable and fulfilling collaboration!
All the best, D.L.
