Thanks for tuning in!
My announcement starts with a somewhat prosaic observation: Everyone is either about to explode or is already exploding.
That's clear enough, corroborated daily by the news, e.g., in the U.S., the fizzle of impeachment is causing many to explode; people in the UK risk exploding whenever they hear the word "Brexit"; in Hong Kong, people are so upset that the fantasy of their lives as Westerners has been taken from them that they are exploding. People all over the world are exploding about a variety of things: climate change, falling standards of living, the increasing disorganization of traditional nation-states, dating versus commitment, the imminent replacement of our species with lab-produced humanoids [Update: Let's add pandemic and quarantine]. It's more than enough to make someone explode.
That is the part we know. What I have found is that there is a continuum to things. It's not just "us" and "not us." It's sort of just...us. Everything we see is us which means everything is about to explode, in what we might call The Big One.
Of course, human life has been exploding since it became human, though if there is no carpet bombing for a while we label the period "peacetime." But The Big One's drumbeat started long before the hominids. The earliest known vibration was in the Precambrian, over 500 million years ago, when one day a single-celled would-be disruptor and influencer checked out another singleton grazing peacefully nearby and thought, "I could just eat that guy, then I'd have all his power and be greater than the nothing schmuck I am now." Predation caught on, which led to the Cambrian explosion, which led to us; the rest is history.
But the story is not so simple. It seems our drumbeats have stimulated a sympathetic response from the earth. Like a bridge trembling when troops in lockstep cross, the earth is trembling under us. Was this life's idea, or was it the earth that shook things up by whispering sweet nothings to the Precambrian innocents? Volcanoes? Earthquake's? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not able to see specific outbursts.
I am able to see the final outcome: The entire surface of our planet will be transformed.
Meaning what? Transition to organisms that digest microplastics and thrive in baking ovens? It would be wise to address such questions now, before they settle themselves. Is there any chance the future of human life will be discussed in upcoming presidential campaigns? Answer: No.
Thanks for listening! I'll be back with further tidings.
Best, Harry the Human