Four entries from the upcoming book, "Robert the Telepathic Gila Monster's favorite jokes":
1. Once there was a king who was not a megalomaniac. He wondered: "How can I know what to do if I'm not a megalomaniac?"
2. The Earth felt cold and neglected. The Moon said, "You dummy! Look at the sun. Do you see it complaining?"
3. An adherent of an eastern religion that believes in reincarnation was starving to death. He thought: "I hope I will be reincarnated as someone who has had plenty to eat his or her whole life. Then I will understand why such people complain all the time."
4. The cat said: "I am at the top of the food chain. The humans serve me because I am far more beautiful than any human could be." The dog hated that and barked at her.